Thursday, September 22, 2005

even if in vain

I search for your silhouette at night
when the lights are dimmed
and the corridors
that witness your whispers
are lifeless

I seek your warmth
as the wind traverses across rooms
reaching with scrawny
fingers
for sleeping prey

I wait in eager anticipation
for the return
of the faint trace
of your breath
upon my being

8 comments:

shyloh said...

This is perfect!! What an awesome poet at 18. Nice nice nice. Keep penning dear one.

Aloha.

carwgaps said...

thank you for that comment shyloh! i am touched. ^__^ *blush blush* your appreciation overwhelms me!

Anonymous said...

grabe!
all my senses came to the fore.
you really do magic.
don't blush now.
just keep on bringing them out.

arkhe

_Soulless_ said...

Ooh, now this I really like. Dang. I keep reading the first stanza over and over... *whistles* I can almost hear the imagined echo of footsteps.

Bravo. ^_^

(You're 18, eh? Sigh. I feel old. Haha.)

cargwaps said...

anonymous, thank you again for commenting. your words make me blush even more! ;p

soulless, you can't know what an honor it is to receive such a generous comment from you, the master poet. ^___^ thank you thank you! p.s. age is relative. (for as long as the wrinkles and sagging breasts don't betray you ;p) *hugs* thanks again!

feminine expressions said...

oh, what rich longing, what deep desire you capture. i love it...

and yes, i love that you are writing this at the age of eighteen. (you have already touched that part of you that has no age and never will no matter how old you become...) i love that you have such a headstart on expressing yourself so beautifully here in direct form and on others' sites in response form. i love that you are part of my world...

blue rogue said...

this one hurts.

I wait in eager anticipation
for the return
of the faint trace
of your breath
upon my being


...and how it spells longing without even saying the word...

cargwaps said...

feminine expressions, i love even more that you are a part of mine.thank you. =)

blue rogue, i love it when you comment. but i certainly love it more when you post. can't wait for your next pieces. ^___^