For the first time in what seems like ages, I woke up today and the pain wasn't there.
I've been having trouble waking up lately. It's because of all the ghosts that haunt me while I'm asleep. They cradle me in their lifeless arms and stroke my hair back with such vicious force that patches of it are ripped off. They do it as if to say I will never be free. And when my feet are cold from the frost that flows from every fiber of their existence, they begin to chant in a voiceless whisper. Kalusa Indir Lahid. Their bodies, at first gentle and wispy beside me, become heavy. Kalusa Indir Lahid. They throw my body to and fro, faster and faster, as their murmuring turns to shrill cries of glee. Kalusa Indir Lahid. The unknown that once stroked my hair turns and with his touch slowly tightens my locks around my neck. Kalusa Indir Lahid. I am frantic but my eyes remain shut. Kalusa Indir Lahid. I choke but consciousness remains distant. Kalusa Indir Lahid. They bind my arms and I thrash from the pain of the stories they continue to whisper. Kalusa Indir Lahid. I submit.
And finally, mercy of mercies, I awake and they disappear, leaving only a faint chill on my arms. And at that moment of blessed silence, I remember the pain of the tales they weave, the memories they desecrate with their laughter and nothing is left as their misery engulfs me. Nothing is left as my mind screams from the burden of knowing. I am reduced to emptiness as my soul cringes from the day I must face without the comfort of the hopes they had uttered so violently in my sleep. It was all a dream. You were just a dream. And now the world rushes to claim me in its version of reality.
But for the first time this morning, I woke up and the pain wasn't there.
May your nights be safe from curses and may your dreams be free of me as I pray mine would finally be free of you.