Monday, January 23, 2006


" If i were the rain
that binds together the earth and the sky
who in all eternity will never mingle,
could i bind two hearts together?"
- Inoue, Bleach episode 9

when the road ends
and there is no more room
or breath
for me to chase after
fallen dreams,
i'll walk back
for the echoes
and painful shadows
of what i alone
will be left to remember.


blue rogue said...

your intro sounds like an answer to shelley's "see the sunlight clasp the earth and the moonbeams kiss the sea, what are all these kissing worth, if thou kisseth not me?"

...or something.
...sorry.'s the geek talking.

time to take the boulevard of broken dreams, huh? Your image is a singular, compact blow to the emotional stomach.

you have evolved. it seems that people like us have to be dragged, kicking and screaming towards the next phase. most of the time, it turns out brilliantly. although, i have often wondered if the brilliance is worth these little deaths.

Lothario Art said...

Alone -- to others may sound too solitary a word, but to us -- the adamant loners -- it is but much a company we welcome...all we need as I suppose.

cargwaps said...

blue rogue, evolve. funny you chose that word to describe me. "survival of the fittest" right? *voice thick with bitterness*

dragged? yes. kicking and screaming? definitely. although the brilliance you talk about seems to have evaded me, i would gladly give up what i have reaped from these deaths just to keep myself from the core and source of all these words.

(sorry about being such a drama queen. i guess it's just one of those nights.)

lothario art, thank you thank you for commenting! interestingly enough, i've come to realize that the main reason (perhaps the only one) that i write is because i want to get rid of all the emotional baggage caused by everyone else in my life. in a way, solitude really is my goal.

people like us were never really made to fit in with the rest of the world. i don't think we'll ever really have our own cozy nooks to take comfort in. we write and write to get rid of everything that makes us different. or maybe that's just me.

in the end, i think i'll find that i'm not really different at all. that i just make myself different. and that writing won't change it, won't change me into someone who can sit back and watch the world through passive eyes.

cargwaps said...

i'm such a drama queen tonight. to quote a good friend's words, "dip me in shit and roll me in bread crumbs."

*chocolate, yup. that's definitely what i need right now. lots and lots of chocolate.*

Lothario Art said...

As one Holden Caulfield retrospected, "Simplify and unify."

Hmnn...the search for one's self -- answers for whatever questions we have -- lie solely, within one's inner eye. And the path towards that inevitable realization, is in theory - relative upon every individual. And the coping mechanisms we perceptively device (those eccentricities we behold) may vary but we undoubtedly, all aspire one unique goal: and that is unlocking whatever needs to be unlocked -- (...?!).

Drama queens are a minority -- and other people will never understand our affinity for such a negatively stereotyped tag; heck, it may sound queer but for whatever reason I wouldn't mind being called a drama queen as well.

p.s. - I hope you don't mind me adding you to my circus caravan and stalking you once in a while.

*Looks for binocular and hides at the flipside of a hedgerow.*

feminine expressions said...

i love this...
echoes and painful shadows. how beautifully you express the emotions of an ending.

i love how you write...